My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
