how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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