don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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