i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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