I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
