I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
