so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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