I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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