she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
