just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
