hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
