no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
