Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
