Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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