There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
