I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
