Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
