i barfeds in our rink
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
