it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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