I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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