haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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