Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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