Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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