i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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