Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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