it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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