Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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