My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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