A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
