yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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