I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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