you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
