Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
