i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize