I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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