i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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