where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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