turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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