sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
