I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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