rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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