THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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