Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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