I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
