i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
