You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
