One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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