Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
