come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
