You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
