one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize