you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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