yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
