it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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