also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Every concussion has its silver lining
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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