It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
