Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize