why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My feet surprised me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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