Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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