Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize