i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
