Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize