you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
