distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
