He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
